A nurse at my family physician called. She stated that the results of blood test revealed that my cholesterol level is rather high. Hence the plan ~ no more fried chicken, hamburger or even steak. Perhaps I should give myself a treat of steady vegetarian diet from now on!! Intellectually it is doable but for pragmatic reasons I will have to endure this test of willpower to no end. Who say getting older is easy?
Kidding aside, I was prescribed anti cholesterol medication. I have no issue with prescription medications. This reminds me of the time when I was in early grade in primary school perhaps in grade 2 - a time of great trials and experimentations. That was the first time when I was so scared bringing my report card home because I was placed 8th in a class of about 30. Grade 2 was the only time. Since then, my placement never dropped below 3rd and most often I remained at first or second place. I did well academically but I struggled with religion classes. There was something within me that I could not reconcile and yet I managed to excel in all the tests and exams to land myself in position of either first or second among the many. Perhaps, I was a rolling stone without recognizing it - rolling and gathering no moss! Existentially, I am empty and seem to be contend with the status quo. Yes, existentially I am searching for the meaning of life but there the searching or the rolling of the stone stays: searching, reading, wondering and experiencing newness and tasting the freshness of the moment. Spiritually I still do not know much about my own self even at this advancing age!! What a shame.
Death gives life some perspectives and meanings. I can recall the time when I came home from school during second grade feeling feverish and helped myself to aspirins (how many, I could not recall) without asking my mother. Here was an eight years old deciding to take care of himself because he was not feeling well. When I woke up, I was surrounded by so many people, neighbors and relatives, gathering around me in the living room. Dad was smiling with relief and offered me to drink coconut water. According to the village's bomoh (traditional medicine man) who was sitting next to dad, coconut serves as an antidote to an overdose. I did not bother to query but the treatment seemed to work on me.
The second episode of life occurred when I was put to sleep during my colonoscopy. Yes, I resisted when my physician first recommended it. He stated that men about 50s of age should get one for a variety of reasons. Perhaps the most reasonable explanation was it was recommended for possible assessment of the present state of affairs of my big intestines and for prevention of possible arrays of cancer-causing ailments afflicted to men of my age or older. Acquiesced I did. I was put to sleep during the operation. I didn't wake up until after it was over. I have never felt so fresh when I woke up. It was the first time in a long while that I truly felt rested and I understand why Michael Jackson's reported predicament of wanting to continue with medication and treatment to induce sleeping because of the feelings we experience afterward.
Both incidences taught me that life goes on with or without you. Being in mid-fifties, the autumn of your life is something else. You are no longer as fast you were once. Your joints ached. You stomach protrudes forward no matter how much you try to suck it back in to stay flat!
[more to come - stay tuned]
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